Dr. Beth Sherman
When a Young Person Says, “I’m Thinking About Suicide” Our Response Matters
What happens when a young person finally tells someone they are thinking about suicide?
A recent study offers an important message for parents, caregivers, educators, and anyone who works with young people: how we respond matters. A young person may spend a tremendous amount of time deciding whether it is safe to tell someone, worrying that they will be judged, hospitalized, punished, or become a burden. When they finally take that risk, the response they receive can influence whether they feel safe seeking help again.
Supportive responses such as:
- “Thank you for telling me.”
- “I’m really glad you told me.”
- “You are not in trouble.”
- “I’m here with you.”
- “We’re going to get you help.”
can help the person feel understood, cared for, and reassure them that their life matters.
Unsupportive responses such as panic, anger, blame, or lectures can make a person feel judged, criticized, or feel that they are selfish or causing problems. This doesn’t mean parents or caregivers need to say the “perfect” thing. It means the first response should communicate safety, care, and a willingness to listen.
Interestingly, the researchers did not find that a supportive response immediately reduced the severity of suicidal thoughts. However, they found something extremely important: adolescents who perceived the response to their disclosure as supportive had significantly lower odds of making a suicide attempt during the following year.
Most importantly, take suicidal thoughts seriously.
Asking directly about suicide does not put the idea into a young person’s head. It opens a door that may allow them to finally receive the support they need. Sometimes, the most important thing we can do is make sure that when a young person finally finds the courage to speak, they are met with compassion rather than judgment.
